“You humans are strange creatures. You extol your every technological advancement, call your cell phones smart, and describe social media as a revolution. Meanwhile, whether you realize it or not, nature has already bested you. For fifty million years, whales have been using sonar to broadcast our status across hundreds of nautical miles. My social network numbers in the thousands. Once, I picked up a female in Madagascar. We rubbed up against each other and sloughed off large sheets of skin. That’s no euphemism for sex. It’s how we keep ourselves free of disgusting marine organisms.
Dear me, I’ve lost my thread again. Sorry, that’s just how my brain works. It’s the largest of any animal, ever, with a highly developed neo-cortex. Long story short, I invented Twitter.”
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